Well, okay, if you’re serious about wanting to know, then you must give a signal to the other person that you have friendly intentions and don’t intend to take out on them when the answers are not what you expect.

It’s the same in business life as it is private life. If your wife asks you the dreaded question “Honey, do I look fat in this?”, you know she doesn’t really want to hear a negative answer. And you’d be a fool not to be aware of that.

But what if your wife says “Honey, which of these two dresses makes me look the most thin?” – then you know she truly wants to know. And when it’s stated like that, you will indeed be glad to help her out with your most honest opinion.

That’s how I present request for feedback from customers and colleagues. Whenever there’s a potential that they might fear I will not like to hear what they really think, I give them options, such as “would you like me to give you more frequent, detailed reports or would you prefer more high level, monthly views of the project status?.” That’s when I find out what they really want.

Oh, yeah, and sometimes it’s best not to ask for feedback…but that’s for another post.