No one would fire this guy. This was several years ago when I had a colleague who just couldn’t get fired, no matter the dot.com implosion, no matter how ornery he got. I still remember it to this day and I still laugh out loud about it.

Market forces were cleansing the dot.com bloat and workers, specialists, good people, bad people were getting laid off by the bucket full. But this one, somehow, was un-fireable! He would even boast about how he would not follow process and would sometimes get a tad rough with the customer over the phone. I saw him grow this persona over time, so that as business overall got worse, the more crotchety he got. His philosophy? “Fire me now so I can get it over with and move on.” Somehow the body count kept climbing, but he kept standing.

As you’re guessing, he did have something unusual about him that made his managers want to keep him. I don’t think even he understood at first what was happening. As time progressed however, I noticed something interesting. He actually got better, much better, at his job. He lost his anxiety, really got down to business with the customer, and kept his head when everyone else was losing theirs.

Keep in mind, because of the dot.com bust, the customers themselves calling in were imploding at the same time – and they were under tremendous stress and panic. He started acting like the proverbial doctor who didn’t hesitate to verbally slap a hysterical customer into calming down so he could start operating. That’s what made him good. Processes were breaking down both internally and externally (i.e. no longer lined up to the business reality), so he took charge of each and every interaction and did rescue many a customer and many an account for their managers – simply because he was no longer afraid of the axe.

Last time I talked to him, he was still trying to get fired…but I don’t believe him anymore…he’s gotten way too friendly again J